i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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