Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
