508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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