i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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