i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know š
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
