so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
