wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
