he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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