woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize