Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
