Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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