No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
