I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
