Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
