Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
