You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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