no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am spending my child support on dildos
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
