if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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