just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
