dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
