i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
