Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
