My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's just like the Real World with babies
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
