my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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