I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
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All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.