Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting