The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks