Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
