so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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