idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
