What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
