and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
