I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
