We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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