and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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