I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
