In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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