Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
pray to the hookup gods
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
