Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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