I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
