I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
