If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
