I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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