Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
