she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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