hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
