just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
