fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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