Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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