Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
