Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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