He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
