she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
