when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
