I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
