I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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