before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im holly from the hills drunk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
