as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
