why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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