Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
