My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize