Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
